These are a few excerpts I wrote these past few days. They’ll run as updates for the site and as diary entries, even though I don’t have a diary anymore.

In contrary to my previous diary entries, I won’t put the days I wrote these in, since a lot was on the same document and I don’t know how to get this information that way. They also won’t be in order.

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I just finished writing my Sudokus text. I chose to write it in Portuguese, I’m planning to write a lot more texts in Portuguese from now on. Those texts don’t do very well because there’s not a lot of Brazilian/Portuguese readers in here, but nowadays, I feel much better writing about some topics in my native language. It’s already up if you know the language; if not, you can ask me to translate it for you if you really want to read it. It’s just a lot of work.

But anyway, the real update: I talk about a test I did a long time ago called the Zebra Puzzle. I got so excited talking about it, I decided to do the test again after finishing the text. On my two past tries, I must’ve spent one or two hours on it. You will not believe your eyes:

Not only did I beat it again, but I did it in FOUR MINUTES!!! WHAT????

I swear I did not remember a single thing about it. I just applied the same logic I use on my tougher Sudokus, I was shocked to notice it worked out. I was so happy!!!

But I sadly did not have anybody to talk to about this. So it will be our shared accomplishment, our lovely secret.

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After finally writing my post for Nightporter’s Books of 2025, I reminded myself through my book annotations about my concept album A Woman Mirror. I don’t know if you can call it a concept album, it’s just an album examining a concept through its songs.

It is not supposed to be my first album, however. My first one was already completed in 2024, all that’s missing are the means with which to record the songs, meaning the producers and a small band.

A Woman Mirror is supposed to be the second, with the third probably being the one with the forest that I don’t know yet a lot about (curiously, it was the one that was conceived first). It’s still mostly incomplete, mostly because I don’t force myself to write songs these days. Also, because I always feel like the realizations I want to reach in the lyrics placed there are ones I have yet not had. I feel like there’s a lot more thinking to do.

The concept of A Woman Mirror is plain in its title; it’s just the reflection of womanity in my masculine life. The women around me and how they reflect on me. Pretty self-centered, as a lot of my music tends to be. But I feel it’s an important ground to resolve before being able to talk about the world. It talks about gender, it talks about my mother.

If you’re familiar with the songs posted on the-thief’s WordPress page, the songs in A Woman Mirror are songs like “Brainache”, “A Kindred Sex”… Songs in the first project are like “Canyons” and “Thief”… While songs in the third one are more like “The Whale” and “The Willow”. Some songs are not there yet, and probably won’t be until they’re published — if I have to be honest, who knows if I will keep the Songs tab in the future.

Which brings me to another point. I remembered that I titled a post “A Woman Mirror” or something like that, it was a very old post from the beginning of the site. I was thinking about it one of these days; I’ll probably work on archiving the older posts on the site. Some will be kept, like the short stories, but some are a bit before I figured out my writing style; it’s like reading someone venting with no interest on making the writing appealing.

While rereading the post, I also noticed I was still very frustrated with what had just happened, justifiably so. I read another post from that time and I could read there the anxiety and angst. Those posts are meaningless to me now, but I understand the sorrow I was feeling. I suppose I just wished I had put it out in a more beautiful way.

Also, the “I will never talk to her again”… I ended up talking to the girl a few times after the post; the last time being on my birthday in the 24th. It was one of the best birthday gifts ever, even if it was very short. We seem to be on good terms, which I couldn’t be happier about. I am treading my own path now, as I don’t know if she will cross mine again. But I wish she knew I could talk to her all day.

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He’s so real for that (this was the day with the symbols).

(I’m still not using a lot of Instagram, this was a screenshot I found on Twitter — which I’m also not using much…)

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An update on Birdy: It’s raining a lot in here, so my grandmother is worried every time it’s pouring that it might be falling on her eggs and on her little head, or destroying her nest. “They literally create nests on trees, grandma. They’re used to raining”, my sister said. Still, the old lady couldn’t help but be worried.

She told me, “I will talk to the boy to go up there and get her for me, and we put the nest somewhere better”. I was thinking she was talking about some family member I don’t know about that treats animals or owns a pet shop or something, like a specialist on wild life, but no: she was talking about my sister’s boyfriend, just because he has a lot of cats in his house or something.

One thing that’s quite sad is that recently Birdy is being way more jumpy with me around. She didn’t use to do that, but now every time I go on the terrace there’s a chance she’ll just fly out scared if I try to put the hammock on. I wish I could get her trust, that I can’t hurt her; the only people I seem to hurt are lovers, after all.

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Yeah, I just lied to you, I’m sorry. This was the day with the symbols for me. I aced it first try. I’m so sorry. I’m the greatest of all time. I’m sorry.

Look at those threes, baby. Where are my tarot girlies on reels to talk about repeated numbers and tell me someone wants to talk to me?

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Since we’re already here, I’m also writing a bit more for my Letterboxd and my RateYourMusic now. I have a new list on RYM and been doing a few reviews over there, while also writing more reviews for Letterboxd. The RYM will be a huge companion for the Nightporter posts, so I’ll make sure to advertise them together.

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I’m thinking of creating another Twitter account to post some things I write that are too short for a full text. I suppose this is what the feed thing for Substack is for, but I don’t know; everything there feels too sanitized and made to sell self-help books. But then again, I don’t even know if my style of writing matches with what is on Twitter as of recently.

Maybe even post there when a new post in here is written, how about that? Maybe someone will even read it. Oh… The excitement!

But it would be all positive stuff, most likely. I’d also only post there when I already have the thing written, just so I don’t doomscroll too much.

But I also don’t know if I have a lot of people interested in my interests, people I know who’d read what I write; this way, I can’t even know if it’s good at all. Who would want to read about the end of a man?

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Fuck Riot Games.

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I love Daniel Johnston…

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Listen to this month’s Nightporter playlist below.

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