i didn’t die. I’m thinking of a new haircut.

Music feels kind of pointless. Writing seems kind of pointless, too. I don’t seem interested on stopping to watch a film. So there’s no pleasure to be had.

I’m kind of living on automatic pilot right now. I’m being productive, but I’m not here. I thought about deleting my social media. I wish I could say I’m not using them because I’m busy. It’s not true. I’m just depressed.

No one really can cure this but me. It’s the truth. I need to connect with the world again. See the beauty in the world again. I tell myself this beauty exists because I saw it sometimes. It must still be there, I just need to see it again. I used to be a good person, too. I must still have something like this in me. I can probably be happy again one day. I can even love again one day, I think. I just wish I could skip to that day. Living these days doesn’t make me very excited on living any others.

I just hope I don’t have to keep any dumb promises I made.